Social scientists—-long the vanguards of labeling--have served as solemn stewards of putting generations into neatly alphabetized boxes ever since Generation X first marked the spot. After following that one up with Generation Y, and the next one Generation Z, they bravely christened those born from 2010 to 2024 as "Generation Alpha" (perhaps "Generation Z" seemed simply too final). And in so doing, they eschewed my sage suggestion to rename the post-Gen Z cohort Generation AI, reflecting its coincidence with the rise of artificial intelligence as a force bound to shape society from here on out.

Well I tried.

They have since, naturally, named the next cohort after Alpha. And what gem of creativity have they, through their meticulous methodology, unearthed for those born from the year 2025 onward (at least for the next decade and a half or so thereafter)?

Yep. It's "Generation Beta."

Children born for the foreseeable future will be Betas, and the media has been quick to buy into this terminology and lay a coat of social cement over its usage. So, bravo, academia. Slow clap. Way to go.

"Beta," of course, to those old enough amongst us, sounds like a software test phase, and there is as well a modern connotation of "Beta" in certain communities as shorthand for a submissive, timid personality — the polar opposite of the confident, take-charge, problem-tackling "Alpha."

Had they gone with my splendid "Generation AI" suggestion for the current generation, there would not be this slavish descent into continuation of an alphabetical order detached from reality and drenched in the sound of mediocrity. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, it is not detached from reality, but is defining and guiding it. Maybe, in fact, a society which allows itself to name an entire generation "Beta," with all that connotes, is one inevitably destined to raise an actual generation of Betas. I'll be sure to let all my expecting friends know.