Phar Lap was a top Aussie horse, and probably the fastest horse in the history of the universe. He ran so fast that officials regularly checked him to see if he didn't have a Holden Red six hidden in him. 'Phar Lap' is a Thai phrase meaning 'too fast for the glue factory'. Phar Lap was in fact too fast for his own good. While he being led to the stables at Caufield Racecourse a car pulled up beside Phar Lap and shots were fired from the window, but Phar Lap simply outran the bullets. Phar Lap won so many races that racing officials decided to handicap him to buggery. He entered the 1930 Melbourne Cup carrying a handicap of a Datsun 180B, but still won it anyway. In the 1931 Cup Phar Lap was made to carry a Datsun 180B filled with rugby players, and this weight finally proved too much for the champion horse. Phar Lap then went over to Yankeeland to show the Seppos how to race, but the Seppos fed Phar Lap too many hotdogs and he died of a heart attack. Pharlap's reputation is clouded because some people allege that he was born in New Zealand, a claim which which cannot possibly be true due to all the races he won. New Zealanders never win anything, especially cricket matches or rugby games. Phar Lap is a top Aussie.


The contents of this writeup written by Grant(Nosedog) and can be found in its original form at http://www.topaussieguide.com/ Permission gained from Grant on 20 November, 2000 to reproduce the text on everything2. Many thanks