News anchorman who either has been drinking heavily for way too many years, or has some dain bramage from a misspent youth. Dan Rather is known for his down home witticisms and his liberal bias. I just got through listening to him say, with a straight face, that the election for President had been "decided by the US Supreme Court; a Court which many see as politically biased." If I could get my hands on his wrinkled neck, I'd like to be squeezing it right now, saying things such as, "I think it was decided by the VOTERS, you dumbass!" Or, "I guess the idiots on the court down in Florida were just trying to find justice, WEREN'T THEY? Are you dead yet?"
I've gone astray here. What I really wanted to point out is the highly annoying habit Mr. Rather has when he searches his damaged synapses for some sort of down home analogy for any and all events which he feels are newsworthy. Here's a couple of samples. They could be true.
"This election is tighter'n Miss Mary Beth's asshole when she sees Long Dong Dickus knockin' on her back door with a can of axle grease in one hand and a tie rod in his belt loop."
"Those ballot boxes down in the swamplands were bloated like a tick on a bird dog that's been suckin' like Madonna on a Puerto Rican poolboy for damn near a dimpled fortnight."
"You could take the loose skin on all the geezers that meant to vote for Algore in Miami and make a bubble quilt that could cover Texas and half o' Oklahoma."
"You know what they say down where I come from: You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make 'im drink Dan Rostenkowsky's bathwater."
And on and on. He's at his worst on shows such as Don Imus where he actually thinks he's among friends. When he lets his hair down, his last two brain cells fall right out.