I wanted to go to beach today..walk on the sand; rough-coarse and fine-feeling of warm sticking on my feet, dragging me, pulling me back..heavy inside and heavy outside.like million different people and their densities accumulated in me..Sitting on my chest, blocking my lungs and every time when I attempt to create words; I feel and sense the tension coming through my spine, stabbing my throat, forcing my cheeks and words are stopping there..'You can't go any further'..wind, the nice breeze and ocean waves..sands are sticky, wet, heavier and cool on my feet -and ocean is obmutescent..conticent and not blue, never blue..still walking through roughness, edginess -where do I go now?
"..I don't know where, how -to put my hands
My hands are there, hanging in absence of air
Lost inside of words, worlds, dreams
I never said time, I never said love
These are your silent excuses
Your silent words like sands; heavy and rough and....carried with me? Carried by me?
I don't know darling anymore
Ocean is not blue, my hands are gone, world is circling clockwise..
No where to return no where to go
With every breeze I have no where to go.."
My magical train, 6:51 am, still..still somewhere..still in somewhere..
Sometime ago yesterday