Apollyon's Adventures in India
back to August 17, 2006
Puna (poonah) is a crazy city, I have travelled here to meet Sanket's sister (again) and to pick up Sanket's other grandmother. The city is renowned for having the worst drivers in the world but they make up for it by having the best pickpockets and con-artists. Sanket has confiscated my money for 'safe keeping' ... see I told you they were good!
The driving seems insane because we are used to 'traffic laws'. I have not seen a single accident or traffic jam in Puna since arriving, despite having travelled the wrong way down a main road lined with concrete walls into oncoming traffic; clipping five motorbikes doing a U-turn across all the lanes at a crossroads; and seeing a truck reverse away from a set of traffic lights cross the concrete embankment drive on the wrong side of the road honk its musical horn and speed diagonally back onto its original side of the road.
You see the rule of the road here is that if you are big you are right. But if you are small you can act as though the big guys don’t want to kill you. The balance is struck. Actually I feel as though it improves the driver’s empathy, they look out for each other. Also when there are no mistakes to make you can’t get angry. I’ve seen a minor bump being settled with a hand shake, no insurance details were exchanged. That's what bumpers are for right?
My friend from my advertising course is living in Puna and he is doing a management degree. If you ever wonder why Indians are so successful in business (an Indian woman has just taken over Pepsi International and the majority of computer programmers in silicon valley are Indian) then consider this: in his first month on the course he was expected to work from 9-5 every day, including Sunday.
What's that? Big deal you say?
What if I told you it was 9am to 5AM?
That's right, one hour for lunch and dinner and four hours sleep a night. Now he has settled into a 9-9 work schedule and he has his weekends back. His college halls close at 10:30 so this gives him only an hour to get drunk every night. I know from experience that he manages this quite well!
It is strange to see a guy who used to steal deer from the zoo for venison steaks so subdued.
Sanket's sister, Deepti, has been showing me the sights. Ganesh is a favourite for all Hindus but in Puna they are particularly crazy about him, the local gallery, idol stores and the Ganesh museum are all testament to this. I must have seen tens of thousands of elephant headed God statues since arriving in Puna. In a few days time (on the 27th)the Ganesh Chaturthi festival begins and there will be a huge celebration including two story high clay and papier machier Gods being paraded through the town.
One such idol was Ganesh riding a horse.
Rumours that Samuel L Jackson is involved with contract negotiations for ‘Elephants on a Horse’ have been denied.
forward to August 21, 2006