Findings:

• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• Desperate guys who 'talk' me for no apparent reason
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• Anybody who gets married before the age of 25 scares me a little
• This guy tipped his waitress a dollar with a dick drawn on it. What happened next left me questioning everything I ever thought about income inequality.
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• I'm too judgmental with people who are too judgmental
• Tell me how you want to die, and I'll tell you who you are
• Who Pulls Me Down? Double Predestination in Marlowe's Faustus
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• I'm nobody! Who are you?
• Smile at guys, for me
• Love me till your heart stops. Love me till I'm dead.
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• I'm changing the climate! Ask me how
• This is me. This is who I am. The numbers shouldn't matter.
• May those who are born after me
• for a long time i was afraid i would forget; now i'm afraid i might not
• I Was Lost and You Found Me
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• The guy at the end of Half-Life
• I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
• Conservative Republican Guy Who Comes Over and Eats All Your Food
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• Girls Who Like to See Guys Fight
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Do you love me now, Daddy? Do you think I'm pretty?
• I'm waiting for what will make me stand still the rest of my life
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• For the man who inspired me to dance
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• To the three girls who stopped me today on my way to class
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• Who would cry for me should I die tonight?
• Somewhere there's a god who wants me
• You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.
• To a Young Lady Who Sent Me a Laurel Crown
• She was an intellectual prostitute, seducing me with profound truisms
• there's nothing quite as wonderful to me as the assorted scars of a woman who's too busy reading to watch where she's walking
• Seven for a magpie who tells me where to go
• Sitting next to strangers who fall asleep by me for no reason. Trusting rhythm. An odd intimacy, train trips.
• Okay, okay, I confess! It was me! I broke the internet!
• Strike me down - I'll be everything I'm not
• Russian guy who comes over and eats all your food
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• The guy who got Isekai'd straight from 1942 Stalingrad to a fantasy land
• Russian guy who comes over and slaps all your hos
• I'm so shallow, a new t-shirt makes me happy
• Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.
• Don't rush me, I'm fragile
• I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
• So, who is this Webster 1913 guy, anyway?
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• I'm wishing Jesus was here again
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
• Monster Truck Rally Announcer guy who comes over and eats all your food
• You nature lover / you country punk / you bowl me over / I'm not that drunk
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• I'm not doing it just to be weird
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• Guys who wear skirts
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• Are guys who get blowjobs from guys straight?
• Nobody fly with me; I'm cursed
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I'm burning too brightly, begging you to smother me.
• btw, I was raised on Twinkies, I'm certain it made a lasting effect
• this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
• You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
• The guy who ate acid and is now locked in an insane asylum, thinking he's a glass of orange juice.
• The guy who peed in the sink at Wrigley Field
• To the man who keeps happening to me
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• I was a homeless bum
• Excuse me while I kiss this guy
• The Spy Who Loved Me
• I'm starting to think the secret is to NOT be rich and prosperous. To be 'unsuccessful' (depending on who you ask)
• Death was a part of me then, too.
• Remind Me Who I Am, Again
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
• Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
• Feed Me Weird Things
• The people who matter most to me are the ones who make me laugh
• Some guy tried to buy drugs from me last night
• Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
• She who makes the Moon the Moon and, whenever she is full, sets the dogs to howling all night long, and me with them.
• Is it you, Sir, who cut me? Or is it I who cut you?
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• To John Bartlett, Who Had Sent Me a Seven Pound Trout
• Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
• Tell me what you read, and I will tell you who you are
• The train that came to me in the dream was already a dead train
• To the drive who keeps taking me
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• I'm a decent guy's worst nightmare
• confide to me your first weird feeling of Tokyo
• Would you tell me if it was true?
• I will marry only he who defeats me in battle
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• two guys who have killed scores of imaginary people
• wasn't I the guy who walked these streets all night?
• The Girl Was a Guy
• The one guy who went to Australia instead of Austria by mistake
• The highlight of my night was two guys kissing
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Crazy People Always Think I'm the Sweetest Guy
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• I think I'm turning into a guy
• Take me drunk, I'm home
• funny fat guy who dies
• Look at me mammy I'm dancin I'm dancin
• I'm a bloke. Shoot me.
• Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?
• Aw, Mom, ya know I'm not like other guys; I'm nervous and my socks are too loose
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• What do guys think of girls who hook up with pseudo-random guys?
• I'm the Bad Guy
• I'm not in love, set me free
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• Women want me when I'm taken
• Crazy old guy who shouts Bible passages
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
• The Scared Weird Little Guys
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
• Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• I'm a celebrity... get me out of here!
• Kiss Me, I'm Chris
• I'm Just Me (user)
• Break me. I'm elated.
• I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
• I'm not a geek, and I wish I were
• Shag Me, I'm Famous
• I'm starting to think I was a waste of a perfectly good placenta
• Helping people cheat
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• The guy who can't even pick up guys
• The day I found out I was a guy
• The sheer fact that I'm in a developing country should make me a better person, yes?
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little auditor, a sexy little auditor!
• Notice Me, I'm Here
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• Guys who play guitar to get girls
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• I was a nice guy once
• what i'm trying to show you is something that i was shown
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• Being in a relationship with a girl who has guy's name

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