Yeah, don't worry, my hostess is ok.
Your OverLizard here, Alien and Different and fuck ya'll humans. You have the weirdest fucking mating habits.
Yeah, so, he miscarried. Fuck. I am broken hearted and am having a hard time hiding it from my hostess. She is really hurting too because in the hormone storm, he is lashing out and says he doesn't love her. Jayzeus. I am amazed that you fuckers come together long enough to get pregnant, really. And what percentage don't stay in the couple? Well, half get divorced. That's the married ones. Of the unmarried, what, 10 percent of the procreators stay involved? If that? And some of you worship a single mother with a fucking virgin birth? Who the fuck believes that?
Well, folks on my planet are disappointed too. Some had even bought gifts for a baby shower. That is kind of jumping the shark or gun or whatthefuck ever.
And since my hostess is all broken hearted, seems unlikely that the guy will get pregnant again. Well, that's sad. I still love him too, but you know, it's hard to love a human hosting a lizard. They are a little... different. Heh. With bells on. Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and he stopped singing to her. Her heart has been splintering and splintering and splintering. I am using epoxy and superglue and horse glue and you name it. Had to import some glue from my home planet. First they sent stents. "What the FUCK!" I am screaming into the phone. "Sorry, but NO. It's not a fucking blocked artery. The whole heart disintegrated into tiny shards. Send GLUE."
Really? they said. Lizard glue in a human? Yeah, well, needs must. You do what you have to. Her skin is taking on just a very faint subtle green hue. I'm going to have to keep her away from black lights, because holy shit, she lights up electric green. They would notice that. Luckily she is an early bird and wants to go to sleep at 8 or 9 pm. Not a partier and anyhow, the average age in her town is now 72 so they don't exactly stay out all night. What with covid, some nights ain't no bar open after 8 pm. Bartender yawns and calls last call at 7:15. Tourats are like, what the fuck? Fuck you, tourats, go the fuck home with your unimmunized maskless faces and quit gifting us with Delta, asshats.
So with both my hostess and me grieving, it's a fuck fest. We went and got a pair of kittens, because she killed five mice in the house and just couldn't stand it. The previous cat died at 17 over a year ago. The kittens really are fun. They do trigger MY predator instincts so I keep wanting to eat one, but I know my hostess can't deal with that. I have to do some stalking at night when she is asleep. Never you mind what I hunt, you'll sleep better not knowing.
And that's the update. SNAFUED as usual, but whatever. I have work to do.