About Me

"All your life, they told you it can't be done and in return they try to hold you back and kick it down. But you know that second place means you're just the first in a loooong line of loserrrrrs. And no one's gonna remember the ones that quit the race. So do what you must! The future's YOURS! YOU HAVE THAT CHOICE!"

- Crazy Lixx, The Power.

I like to think this sums me up rather. But then again, I also like to think that one day England might actually win the World Cup.

You know what, fuck the rest of my homenode. It's all a load of embarrassing crap anyhow. Loads of in-jokes that have accumulated over the past nigh on 20 years I've been a member of this place and cruft and things only I thought was funny or amusing and nobody gave a single solitary turd about or even read half the time. Don't worry. I've got it saved to a textfile on a drive somewhere now where it will remain forevermore.

I did some mathematics. I noticed that the number of days between my birth and my joining of E2 is lower than the number of days between that day and the present. That makes me feel very old. When I started noding I was just some student bum in London, left to my own devices one boring Sunday arvo in a gently decaying 1960s building which no longer exists. Since then I've been to the Sorbonne for a year, graduated, been through law college, got a shit job, got a training contract, qualified, escaped Legal Aid because it's CV cancer, been married, been divorced, moved across the country twice, had the black dog several times, and finally decided to stop being taken for a mug by people generally, with some success. I've been off and on, and carved out a niche as That Guy who willingly reads bad erotica (and there's several such writeups still in draft, oh yes indeed, just waiting for me to be arsed to finish them) and pokes fun at it. That was more luck than judgement to be fair, but I stand by everything I've written in that series with one exception. I've discovered the joys of pinball machine ownership and the horrors of how low trust our society really is.

Apparently when I first joined this place people thought I was a girl because of the name. When they found out I was a big red-haired chap in large boots they were somewhat nonplussed. That was before a certain fellow noder banned me from going to meets for being "generally hard work." Incidentally, more recently I showed that e-mail from him to some people on another board I post on and who I have also met a lot of users from and the vote was 100% for "he's a cunt m8." Make of that what you will.

If you need to find me in real life, look around 26 miles north-northwest of an Orthodox monastery. Though why are you trying to find someone online who you don't know IRL? That's weird. You're weird.

Anyhow. That's about it. Now click on something actually informative.