Rules and Regulations
A short
direction
To avoid
dejection,
By
variations
In
occupations,
And
prologation
Of
relaxation,
And
combinations
Of
recreations,
And disputation
On
the state of the nation
In
adaptation
To your station,
By invitations
To
friends and relations,
By
evitation
Of
amputation,
By
permutation
In
conversation,
And
deep reflection
You'll avoid dejection.
Learn well your
grammar,
And never stammer,
Write well and neatly
And sing most sweetly,
Be enterprising,
Love
early rising,
Go walk of six miles,
Have ready quick smiles,
With lightsome laughter,
Soft flowing after.
Drink
tea, not
coffee;
Never eat
toffy.
Eat
bread with butter.
Once more, don't stutter.
Don't waste your
money,
Abstain from honey.
Shut doors behind you,
(Don't slam them, mind you.)
Drink
beer, not
porter.
Don't enter the water
Till to swim you are able.
Sit close to the table.
Take care of a
candle.
Shut a door by the handle
Don't push with your shoulder
Until you are older.
Lose not a button.
Refuse cold
mutton.
Starve your canaries.
Believe in fairies.
If you are able,
Don't have a stable
With any
mangers.
Be rude to strangers.
Moral:
Behave.
Lewis Carroll, 1845