Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I can't start any new books or series even though they sound fantastic without a shitton of effort, and I can't play any of the dozens of new video games I've bought, but I CAN spend hours upon hours playing minecraft and watching the same four youtube videos over and over, so that's nice!"

• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• I can break into any Ford Expedition in an hour
• beliefs can change the world, but they can't change reality
• I've read books so I know things that sound like they could be true
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• We once played this same game, but with only our words
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• People can get stuff here that they can't get anywhere else.
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• Seriously, I can't speak French, so can we just skip to the love-making part?
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• I can't spend another autumn without the trees
• you can't you can never be sure. you die without knowing.
• My 486 almost runs Debian now, but I can't play Doom!
• buildings so tall you can't even see the tops of them
• An hour later, I swing my leg over his and we dream of being young
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I got a good degree and can't remember any of it!
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• I can't find the any key
• some people touch it, but they can't hold on
• At least things can't get any worse
• I can't express my sexual anger without being shunned but it's cool when you do it
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• I play video games for a living
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• The one valid argument for Judaism over any other religion
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• stop garage sales (or why Joe Lieberman doesn't like video games)
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• you can touch the sun but you can't take it with you
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• You can't dominate the world on $10 a day (or can you?)
• How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• even if I can't forgive, I can still let go of it
• A story about a picture can only say so much, even in a thousand words or more
• Spend an hour with us and you'll never be the same
• Only the devil would play the same five songs over and over
• even though I wouldn't be able to tell you any of this
• Why can't I get over her
• I can't leave you with any bloodless feathers
• A coder stumbles upon a dormant online game where real-world prizes are won; as they play, the challenges escalate to dangerous real-life tasks
• you can't start a fire without a spark
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• You can run, but you can't hide
• you can't recreate what's over
• I bind these books, but I can't write in them; I just can't
• so pretentious I can't even breathe
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• He vowed not to consider any time interval shorter than one hour.
• i can't hear you over the chewing
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• only cold little handheld mirrors in the wee hours of the morning can be trusted
• He scribbled with black crayon all over my fairy tale books.
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• My fingers flow over a keyboard, but words jumble at my teeth
• In any world in which i was your friend for even a day, i am grateful.
• Maybe you were inherently complicated, maybe you've been complicated over the years, but know that you are complicated.
• But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
• Any song can be a love song
• "42" is even to any base
• Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke
• any way, shape or form
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• If you can't help it, fuck it!
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• Two Can Play That Game
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• can till can't
• Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• There's a fine line between feeling a will to live and feeling a fear of death. Sometimes they can both lead you down the same path.
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Words you can't use unless they describe you
• I can't decide if what you're saying is too profound for me to comprehend or just insane
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• YA protagonist, or: Where the hell is any responsible adult
• book of hours
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• He scribbled with black crayon all over my fairy tale books
• How to Play any Guitar Chord
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• I want my trail to grow over and disappear, but now someone is reading it.
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• but we turn everything we touch to shit; we just can't let beauty stand
• Eat any good books lately?
• They fed off each other, which is unusual in a couple, but nice to see.
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• Men can download naked women. Women can't download men worshipping them. Ha ha!
• the good in others can take us where we can't go alone
• You too can spend four years
• I climbed the stairs behind him, without any reason to follow
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• I can't do one-quarter of the things my father can
• Advantaging all without disadvantaging any
• I can eat a peach for hours
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• As any fool can plainly see
• you can change the world and you can't change the world
• watch over me until i can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity
• we can get along even though we disagree
• You can't predict or control what incidents in your life your friends will remember and retell
• if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
• If you can't write something nice, don't write anything at all
• God can't be all good and all powerful at the same time
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• To a beautiful woman without any ketchup
• You can win any argument on the internet by being stupid enough
• The Corpus Hermeticum: Book Four: The Cup or Monad
• I knew it was over the moment I bought those shoes
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• The square root of any positive integer is either integral or irrational
• Can't nothin' fail but a try
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• All Over but the Shoutin'
• Top 10 Reasons to Move to Canada Without Electing Any Of These Nitwits
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Proof that any filter can be extended to an ultrafilter
• Any house can become a prison
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• But you can't take the Jungle out of the Tiger
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• With or Without You... but I prefer the latter
• Hours pass, but she still counts the minutes
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• I can quit any time I want
• Any man can handle adversity. If you want to test his character, give him power.
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Maybe it's bad manners, but you still can't buy my baby
• Any sufficiently lucky series of coincidences are indistinguishable from miracles
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• Nobody paid any attention until white people started to speak out
• In four dimensions, any closed loop of one-dimensional string is equivalent to an unknot.
• If he's late, you can always start without him
• Can real love survive over time
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• Over time, the metaphor becomes literal. Eventually, we will wish for the figurative meaning, but left with only the chilling reality.
• it's like something big is happening right in front of us but we can't see it

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