Since my
brilliant plot to instigate black-clad silent pointy death squads into the political arena crashed and burned (
ignorant savages, all of you) I have devised yet another excellent, well thought out, innovative idea, backed by
hours of intensive research that will, with any luck, lead to great evolutionary bounds in politics. I'm talking a leap from all this subversive and frustrating
cloak and dagger jibba to
outright bloody violence.
Now normally I would launch into a large tension-building discourse leading to an eventual climax with the introduction of my idea but this would probably be largely ineffective because (a) I lack the linguistic capabilities to do so, and (b) the fact that you are reading this obviously means that somewhere along the line you have viewed the node title which, unless you are an amoeba, pretty much or less gives it all away.
Nevertheless, for the sake of clarity: Fuck democracy, voting, Electoral Colledges, public relations and all that crap. It is the new milennium. It is time for a new form of leadership. It is time... for THUNDERDOME.
The basic concept is simple. You have a big dome. Fill it with spiky, sharp, blunt, petrol powered, melee weapons. Also fill it with obstacles with the same aforementioned adjectives. Thunder is optional. Add two (2) drug high presidential candidates attatched to opposite sides of aforementioned dome by giant ten foot elastic bands stapled to their jockstraps, and you're set! The bottom line? Two men enter, one man leaves. Two men enter, one man leaves. Two men enter, one man leaves...
I mean honestly, what better way to decide who becomes who is effectively the most powerful man in the world? When it comes to electing the man, you have to ask yourself do you really want to elect some Ivy League pansy who looks good in a suit? I mean sure he/she may have a code of ethics, he may be honest and may understand how to run a country, but this the man we're talking about. What we really want is a bad motherfucker. I'm thinking the Snow Crash definition here. I'm thinking Raven.
Not only will we save time avoiding all the voting hassle, and not only will it be cool as hell, but research has shown that the world will be a better place. Mostly.
TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES...
THUNDERDOME
Seeing as this seems to be so popular... Update: Well Bush won, eventually. What did it take? It took a couple of months of farting around in hicksville Florida with voting rigging and all that crap. (It's quite evident to everybody now that I don't know what I'm talking about so let's just move on, ok?). I think we can all say that a thunderdome is EXACTLY what we need for this situation.
A few notes:
- Unsuprisingly, this was inspired by the stupidity of the 2000 Presidential Election.
- I am not American. I have no idea what I am talking about. All I know is I would vote for Gore because we all the the Internet was invented by Al Gore
- I am Australian, and candidates for Australian Prime Ministers are (1) under far less worldwide scrutiny and (2) bigger pussies.
- My friend pointed out that Bitter Twisted Evil Guys (bteg.com) also came to the same conclusion. Belgand pointed out that this ingenious idea came from none other than himself. For the record I did not steal this idea from them. Obviously we were just struck by the same genious.