Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Y'know, between Lovecraft and King, horror-story New England should be uninhabited. Seriously, their monsters, were they real, would make that place less people-friendly than Toho's Toyko or Buffy's Sunnydale"

• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• To women, to hide their teeth, if they be rotten or rusty
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• The largest number that can be described in 14 words or less
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• The cigarette between your fingers seems to be burning slower than normal.
• The music makes one's blood boil and long to be in some obscure, untamed place with the one you love
• They knew what our pain would be.
• I should be allowed to make myself miserable
• Why female athletes are paid less than their male counterparts
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• The dark riders were not sleeping. They were only resting their eyes.
• If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
• The Man Who Would Be King
• If we classified ducks as monsters, well, that would be pretty accurate.
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• If not for bras there would be far too little between men and breasts.
• It would be a less interesting world if we all walked and skipped alike, and never fell from bicycles.
• It's better to be alone than to wish you were
• a steady diet of coincidences makes it easy to believe they are more than just coincidences
• Would you be more of a Jekyll or a Hyde?
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• The Filesystem That Would Be King
• unless, of course, we assume the narrator is delusional or lying, which is far less interesting. Or, alternatively, if we assume magic is real
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
• Artificial intelligence should not be a substitute for real stupidity
• There should be laws requiring electric cars to make the Jetsons flying car noise
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• The Ten Commandments revised
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• Things never were what they used to be
• play dumb
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• If there were more people like you, there would be more people
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• you make my life a little harder than it has to be
• It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined
• If I were Twenty-One I would determine, even if I could never be anything else in the world, that I would be a thoroughbred
• We must remember them or they cease to be.
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• if everyone were 10% more good, there would be a 90% reduction in evil
• Automobile tire pressure
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• If I were Twenty-One I would make some permanent, amicable arrangement with my conscience
• If I were Twenty-One I would be happy
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• they couldn’t speak at all; so used to disuse were their tongues
• Or were they chords of sun?
• "By their very nature, negatives ought to be more abstract {than positives}."
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• if you weren't real I would make you up
• If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• Beautiful things should be left alone lest they become just another thing that we should throw away.
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• panamaus does the Antipodes, or Get yer shorts on Sydney, there be a NoderParty!
• The Enigmatic Head of They Might Be Giants
• A whimper would be fine
• Let's Make Up and Be Friendly
• why you should never be a referee
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• eternity would be boring
• It's better to be heartbroken than to have a heart not worth breaking
• You must be 18 or older to enter
• If there were a slight, let it be fulsome
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• The Thing that Should Not Let it Be
• Should I be happy?
• I never thought it would be like this
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• If people weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't be made of meat!
• Jurph should not be allowed to play with fireworks
• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• Should high school be mandatory?
• To be or not to be
• Don't be a smartass and expect to be taken seriously
• What engineering textbooks should be like
• Abbey Road should never be played on random
• Art is whatever makes you proud to be human.
• It should not be this complicated
• Rebeca Martinez
• Want to be shot in the US or beaten in the UK?
• How can something be more beautiful than it is?
• If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• You Should Be Sober
• Chalant should be a word!
• What I really want is for my troubles to be a puddle on your shoulder
• Daylight Savings Time should be ended
• Maybe That's Just As It Should Be
• Names that should never be given to important files
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Laundry should be free
• AI should be our top priority.
• Why Descartes should be Resurrected and then Shot
• Who is more likely to be color-blind, men or women?
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• throw away words we catch in cages where our hearts should be
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, and not simpler
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Here Be Monsters
• Every kitchen maid should be able to administer state affairs
• I set the alarm clock anyway, knowing I would be up all night
• Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist
• Should copyright laws be revised?
• I come home, she lifted up her wings. I guess that this must be the place.
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• Be there or be square
• If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal
• If not voting could change the system it would be illegal
• The best kind of bartender
• I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
• Candles should be burned, not dusted
• There is a space between your shoulders where your wings used to be
• Or at least it used to be
• What can be better than that?
• There is some place I need to be
• It's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people
• Software Engineering should be considered a contact sport
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• Some moments seem too perfect to be real
• Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool
• Mind without body
• Be something... be anything other than this
• The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now
• Recessive traits aren't what they used to be
• It's better to be hated than ignored
• What is and what should never be
• That I Would Be Good
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• Whoever said lectures should be interesting?
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• Just to see what it would be like
• Be a model or just look like one
• I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman
• Sarcasm should be self-sustaining
• Heterosexist norms make it tough for gays to be themselves
• Life should be held in much higher regard
• People in prison should be treated like animals
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• One should be careful to whom he gives the finger
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• No threat should be taken lightly
• Tears must be shed to make room for the laughter
• It Makes a Fellow Proud to Be a Soldier
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• I want to be somewhere between two points of nowhere
• I must die or be better
• Fellatio and Cunnilingus should be Olympic Events
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• There are times when they seem to be right
• In the future, hairstyles will be just like they are now
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.

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