Findings:
- Help me tell you a story about things and yourself, without pants
- A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
- People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
- The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
- why tickling yourself doesn't work
- everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
- There's Something About Mary
- How to harass someone who doesn't even get online using IRC
- How is poetic form going to help me scream about revolution
- People who meander briefly through your life and change you forever
- Charlotte, who, like a lot of low-maintenance women, cannot tell a lie, said, Yes.
- what's the point of having other peoples' thoughts about something?
- There's something about a funeral
- Doing illogical things to feel better about yourself
- Helping a loved one with depression
- The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
- We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever live
- This story about a misanthropist is not about who you think it is about
- maybe it's the writing about something that makes it great
- we who are about to die salute you
- i dream about the ones who are gone
- Why Nihilism doesn't work
- something about bees
- Photography and religion
- something my Torts professor said before we left class
- Be Yourself, said the buxom blonde. Just Like Everyone Else
- all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- salvation through works
- Who needs another person when you have yourself?
- i want to help. i want to be a part of something that will change the world.
- The friend who knows a lot about computers
- Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
- Something was about to happen.
- Tell me about yourself. Tell me everything.
- Spring doesn't care about you at all
- Ayn Rand just doesn't work for me
- Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
- Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
- Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
- Why Diablo II's hostility system doesn't work as intended
- Bragging about a high IQ is way worse than bragging about having a large dick. The latter can at least be demonstrably used for something and be put to good use.
- Lincoln advises a friend who is nervous about marriage, January 30, 1842
- No one ever said that the moral process of humanization was necessarily a pleasant thing.
- He had something to say. He said it.
- The journey will be worth it when you achieve something greater than what harmed you through the journey
- A man who will not die for something is not fit to live
- Was it something I said?
- We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever die
- a woman who fell through the cracks
- The man who sees through closed eyes
- Things my mom doesn't argue with me about anymore
- For Leslie, who runs through this book like a river
- who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth, lying, on quilts, on the grass, in a summer evening, among the sounds of the night?
- Pokemon evolution isn't evolution
- All I ever needed to know about unit conversion, I learned from drugs
- George Bush doesn't care about black people
- Willem Dafoe doesn't care about you
- The Last Song I Will Ever Write About a Girl
- Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
- I knew about the kissing problem before I said Yes.
- A man who is about to become a wizard is a great source of trouble
- There's something inherently sad about a park with no kids in it
- People who carp about their jobs
- sometimes i wonder about people who snap at strangers
- Who i think about when i dont want to smile
- Something About You
- just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
- For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
- people got a lot of ideas about who i am
- Never trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die
- Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
- There's something about a church that just gives you the need to giggle
- A solution to spam (which doesn't work, but nice try)
- You're the only one who doesn't know
- Sometimes, you have to say to yourself: It just doesn't matter.
- Something I thought only I thought about
- Don't you ever go to work?
- this doesn't work
- Why fire suppression doesn't work - Case study: Lake Tahoe
- Find someone who dreams about people like you
- if I can't be with you, then I'll write about you, or I'll write about something else
- Who do you call for help when all your friends are dead?
- What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
- The drinks that helped me through 2023
- Helping someone who practices self-mutilation
- She was feminine in the most displaced sense I had ever seen, a known quality refracted through stained glass windows.
- Let it never be said I slept through it. I never sleep
- Jesus undoubtedly said this or something very like it
- you've been through something that no one should have to go through
- all that time, all those threads, weaving through something that must have been far too confusing to enjoy
- You, who said I could always count on you, forever
- Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
- I, even I, am he who knoweth the roads through the sky, and the wind thereof is my body
- The ones who are happy to survive are inside, partying. The ones who strive for evolution are outside, alone, seething with contempt, working through the night.
- Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
- Capitalism urges you to define yourself through your purchases
- Who works in the Capital Building?
- Y2K from people who worked that night
- The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
- Something about parts of you
- God helps those who help themselves
- I wonder if he ever thinks about me
- Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
- Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Silence
- The only thing to be truthfully said about tomorrow is that it changes everything
- Something I hate about email
- teen drinking
- My body is a battlefield, and all my breasts ever do is argue about existentialism
- How to drive a friend mad, and still feel good about yourself
- You, standing
- She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
- Something glorious is about to happen. A reckoning.
- I know something about love
- Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
- I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
- let me tell you something about ghosts
- Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
- Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
- painting yourself into a corner today is better than spending a week thinking about painting
- I'll give you something to cry about
- This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
- there must be something positive about this; I just can't think of it at the moment
- The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
- Bumper stickers about kids who beat up honor students
- There's something about cats... (category)
- The bored who complain
- There is something about airports and bus terminals
- Do my skinned knees prove something about me?
- Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
- There's something terribly romantic about addiction
- I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
- he knew that victory is not about who is standing after the fight
- This guy tipped his waitress a dollar with a dick drawn on it. What happened next left me questioning everything I ever thought about income inequality.
- Populism doesn't care about people, just about The People
- How to argue about something you don't know literally a single thing about
- I realize that just because I like something a lot, it doesn't mean it is of high quality
- A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
- The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
- Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
- It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
- Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
- When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
- I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
- It turns out wanting something doesn't make it real
- One who doesn't ask, eats wax
- If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
- The kind of woman who doesn't need catching
- Why fire suppression doesn't work - Case study: Chaparral
- I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- Make yourself into a town that doesn't know you
- Soulmates who will never ever meet again
- The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
- There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
- it doesn't matter who I was, all that matters is who I am
- When I heard about the funeral I said "Why?"
- Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
- makes you wonder how you ever felt affection for somebody who could hate you so
- On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
- Don't work at a golf course
- Loudly speaking English in a French accent won't help the locals understand you
- I will not help you beat yourself up
- Is There Something About Bangkok I Should Maybe Know About?
- We were all waiting to hear those words (and no one ever said them)
- Dischord Recording Artists
- I'm so sorry my brain works that way
- We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
- Feeling bad about a good deed
- The good thing about using a horribly outdated file system
- The Trick About Thawing Grapes
- The secret truth about the PalmPilot
- Keep steadfast and earnest. You will try to trick yourself over and over again along the way. Keep going.
- Your radical ideas about religion as a mechanism of social control have already occurred to others
- I don't give a DAMN about your character
- LPPR: Illegal Speech About Drugs
- You are the kind of girl my mother warned me about
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