Junkill

user since
Sun Oct 31 2004 at 18:34:31 (4 years ago )
last seen
Thu Oct 16 2008 at 06:52:02 (20.5 minutes ago )
number of write-ups
163 - View Junkill's writeups (feed)
level / experience
6 (Crafter) / 19324
C!s spent
1324
mission drive within everything
Write nodes now! Ask me how!
specialties
I'm pretty handy with giving massages and writing about mythology. And I think I'm a pretty good conversationalist.
school/company
Massage Envy (Frisco, Texas)
motto
"Truthful words are not beautiful. Beautiful words are not truthful. Good men do not argue. Those who argue are not good. Those who know are not learned. The learned do not know." Tao Te Ching, chapter 81
member of
Content Editors - My Endorsements
most recent writeup
Frick and Frack

ABOVE: I don't know why they don't like my sermon topics. If it misloads, it will me. With short hair.

Welcome to my HOMENODE
Greetings! This is the Everything2 Homenode for Kellum Johnson. My penname (Enormous John Junkill) is an anagram for my real name, and it is pronounced "JUNK-ill," just like it is spelled (although, if you want to go around pronouncing it as though it were French, zhun-KEEL, I won't mind!). I am a Content Editor around here, so if you are new to Everything2, looking for help and advice, feel free to contact me. If you are wanting to read my work, please see above under "View Junkills Writeups" click on the link and it will take you to a list (in reverse chronological order) of my writings here.

If you would like to contact me about any of my writings on E2, please see the contact information below. If you think you might be interested in signing up for an E2 account, I can help there too!

JUNKILL IS (Like You Asked)
A 44-year old lifetime resident of the Dallas, Texas area. Lucky enough to be born on a very luck-luck-lucky day indeed (same as two other noders of high regard), he currently works as a massage therapist, although his career path has offered such interesting jobs as running a children's clothing store, washing dishes in a hospital kitchen, proofreading, advertising design and tax package layout.

He lives in a house with three cats, two ferrets, and a skink—plus Suzi his beloved Platonic Life Partner. Apart from E2, Mr. Johnson's hobbies include reading, writing, surfing the internet, travel, and music. He is the author of a self-published dictionary of mythological and legendary characters, which is currently awaiting its third edition.

Those wishing to know more about this fellow, are directed to his websites: the serious, hard-working one at http://www.kjmassage.com/, or the sillier one at http://www.kjmassage.com/FunHome.html. His blog is at http://junkill.blogspot.com/ . Address is available through EMAR and phone number (should you need it for some reason) is on his website.

This is NOT your great-great grandfather's E2!!!
They're new, they're promising ... okay, some of them aren't so new, but there are a few people to keep your eyes on...watch out, they may take this place over!

Museman
Calgon
santo
Morkel
ignis_glaciesque
NPECom
Etgar
Ancientsnow
seagulltheme
Pavlovna
SubSane
wonton
Evilmoxie
annola
sitaraika
Red Omega
Mouesh
Pandeism Fish
Dbmag9
Salamosam
NeverLost
FingerBlister
Raialoha
FrankThomas
Tifrap
Scaevola
Condoriano
Ariloulaleelay
Mortuorum Dialogi
Holizz
Gracefulwing
poetic
Meldon
Clink
fairyplain
LawNerd13
forfeit
semiq
Behelit
Present
Kliment
grayevenings
personne
Little Tiger
Cameron101
alowercaseq
Allsorts
e-lainey
Sagredo
NailBiter
Spark Gap
Ookami
Scunner
endperform
Misterfuffie
Scientist
brilliantnut
4Lex
Young hearts be free tonight. Time is on your side,
Don't let them put you down, don't let 'em push you around,
don't let 'em ever change your point of view.
—Rod Stewart

Too Much Good Writing Around Here—Seven Nodes that I Think are Amazing
Housework is a bitch by Jessicaj
Father's Day by originalzin
Postcard by brassmule
wildcat by minnow
Maintenant by fallensparks
Why I love Everything2 by Chras4 (although there are a lot of good ones in that node)
9/11 Conspiracy Theories and More 9/11 Conspiracy Theories by artman2003

"All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness."—Tennessee Williams

I solemnly covenant that at least 90% of my writeups shall contain words.

My new mentee

A piece of advice for all you prospective mentors out there. Do not drop your mentees in Diet Coke. If you do, the soda will explode out of the bottle in a huge geyser, and it will be a big mess.

What? Oh, MENTOS! Right, it's those pasty mint candies with the weird commercials that you don't put in soda. Mentees are just people you help out with their writeups. Carry on!

And while you are at it, why not pop by and greet my newest mentee, Slacker. I have a really good feeling about this one!

Junkill Remembers

For whatever reason, it doesn't always work out. Or maybe it does, but they have to move on...

FeltTips
SciPhi
JohnnyGoodyear
yclept
pylon
Maylith
themanwho
and my first three mentees: LovelyDemeter, Zinovia, and Cliopatria

HAPPY TIMES:
 Children of the Corny 2: It's Still the Pelvic Thrust! (28-30 October, 2005)
There goes the neighborhood! 2: Unfinished Business (2 September, 2006)
Children of the Corny 3: Third Time's the Charm! (1 September, 2007)
A nodermeet on a shoestring and shoe leather. London, April 2008. (26 April, 2008)

Some really cool people I've encountered so far:

  • Dimview (It's amazing who you can meet on the Weird Wild Web... Dimview is one of the neatest friends I've ever made: brilliant writer, fantastic correspondent, and someone with a crazy sense of humour like my own... I'm incredibly lucky to have met her.)
  • joer and Briarcub (Q cool couple of guys who know how to throw a nodermeet and the true joy of a half-bent full of latakia! Two of the best friends a person can make in the world of E2, or even in "real" life, whatever that means.)
  • artman2003 (Part John Kennedy Toole, part William S. Burroughs and entirely unbelievable! A man who can go from the sublime to the ridiculous at breakneck speed, and a really nice human being to boot.)
  • Chras4 (Not only a phenomenal writer, but a kind and sensitive woman of extreme kindness and very puckish humour!)
  • Cliopatria (Amazing when your mentee can become your real-life friend. An amazingly erudite woman and a durn nice one to boot.)
  • archiewood (A nice bloke, a good writer, and makes a great zen theme, no less!)
  • Major General Panic (Ziggy Stardust in Latin...possibly the most E2 thing in the history of E2...soooo coooool!)
  • the Debutante (Fun, funny, and brilliant, a very sweet person with an amazing mind.)
  • Wertperch (He's not just a really nice person, he's also the master of the succinct factual.)
  • Jack (Those people who give you critical input when you are first starting out ... well, you never forget them. Nor should you! Good guy in person, too!)
  • La Petite Mort & StrawberryFrog (Two of the most creative and interesting persons this little noder has ever met. Being a guest in their home is like visiting the salons of old Europe, complete with great food and drink and terrific conversation.)
  • Wntrmute (Helpful, interesting, gifted...and a fellow Eddie Izzard fan!)
  • Kanoodle (Fun to read and seems like a really nice chap to boot!)
  • Aspie Dad (The night I got to see his fabled wine cellar was one of the highlights of my trip to England)
  • eien_meru (Smart, clever, and really enjoyable chap!)
  • Borgo (one of the best essayists around, and a really enjoyable guy to correspond with)
  • themanwho (Who may just enjoy my writing as much as I enjoy his—mutual admiration society alert),
  • izubachi (One of the most genuine and wonderful people you'll ever have the good fortune to meet. He's also really smart, to boot!)
  • originalzin (A phenomenal writer and a wonderful person.)
  • mauler (This particular E2 Boddhisattva has been quite good to me!)
  • JohnnyGoodyear (just reading this man's words is enough to improve one's writing ...)
  • avalyn (I really like Avalyn—he has a really beautiful soul to match his lovely words.)
  • Gwenllian & Alex (and Gwenatrix of course)(Wonderful hosts, helpful noders and all-around great folks to know)
  • Just1Wheat (There just aren't many poets who can impress me like this!)
  • MonteCarlo (It's a little humbling when someone this estimable admires your work!)
  • LaggedyAnne (A ninjagirl with some very wicked yummy cookies)
  • Chaotic Poet (A fellow of most excellent fancy!)
  • katherine (A really, really smart and wonderfully kind-hearted person!)
  • Maylith (A fine recipian and fun correspondant!)
  • jessicaj (Another example of a wonderful writer who is also a nice person to know. E2 seems to have a few of those. I'm glad I met this one.)
  • DonJaime
  • Auduster
  • Grundoon
  • Glowing Fish
  • yclept
  • pylon
  • Palpz
  • TenMinJoe
  • tWD
  • Scout Finch
  • Tentative
  • fallensparks
AND THE NODERS I'VE MET IN PERSON ARE:
 Wiccanpiper, BriarCub, Alex, gwenllian, vandewal, avalyn, eien_meru, izubachi, artman2003, Scout Finch, yclept, Passport, CrAzE, yclept, SciPhi, Phyrkrakr, RoguePoet, chaotic_poet, Two Sheds, Oakling, ammie, bristel, dann, indigoe, Jack, Cliopatria, La petite mort, StrawberryFrog, auduster, Dimview, archiewood, AspieDad, The Debutante, Sam512, BaronWR, Wntrmute, Hazelnut, Andrew Aguecheek, voltaireontoast, Heisenberg, DTal
AND A FEW I'VE SPOKEN WITH ON THE TELEPHONE, BUT NOT ACTUALLY SEEN IN PERSON
originalzin...and a WHOLE load of Brits (during The Nodermeet On Which The Sun Never Sets)
...ALSO A FEW I'VE HUNG OUT WITH IN OTHER PLACES ON THE INTARWEBS
Dimview, sloebertje, avalyn, Lucy-S, archiewood, The Debutante, Two Sheds, Johnny Goodyear, eien_meru, artman2003, Scout Finch, Becca, Shaogo, Heisenberg, Izubachi, karma debt, joer, SciPhi, Chras4, Katherine, Wntrmute, Jack, Bitriot (oh, and I saw jessicapierce on another site one time, but I didn't say hi or anything)

I think there may have been a couple more, but I'm not sure! /msg me if you know of anyone I've left out!

I've Been Re-Working Some of my Old Nodes

Kilroy Was Here (11/7/06)
Ringtail (1/7/07)
Great Lakes (6/4/07)
mental_floss (8/24/07)
mercury poisoning (9/6/07)

" Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow."—Helen Keller

I am neither serial upvoter nor node auditor
 But when I find someone whose work appeals to me, I like to read it all (and, I vote on it, C! it etc., so the effect is kind of the same). So far, I've read these amazing people:
Johnny Boy—Estimable writer of the very freaky and a wonderful "This is Jimmy, full of blood," and a useful guide to How to set yourself on fire
FeltTips—I know she must have had a reason for removing all her wonderful work and leaving E2, but my heart still hurts when I think about it.
GolFur—I like his perspective. Fender Bender should be required reading for everyone everywhere.
TenMinJoe—I first found Joe's work because he wrote some pieces about TV shows I enjoy. Also can write a mean piece of fiction
Gwenevere—One of the E2Medical gang. Writes wonderful, hardcore factual medical and semiotics nodes.
SciPhi—Brilliant, cynical, and funnier than hell. Strictly a take-no-prisoners kind of kicker of sacred cows!
Lifix—Has not written too much on here, I've enjoyed some superb factuals and look forward to more.
grundoon—Not just a really nice lady, but also an amazingly versatile and exceptionally talented writer of essay, poetry, and other clever stuff.
themanwho—Creator of the amazing E2 Annotation Tool and writer of magnificent factuals that really draw the reader in!
Jack—This guy can make words do tricks like trained circus animals. His essays are absolutely without compare and his factuals are equally amazing.
JohnnyGoodyear—Another of the superstar animal trainers of E2. *SNAP* the master's whip snaps and the words line up like trained circus beasts. *CRACK!* the words do tricks, one by one or in groups. *WHACK!* The words fall back into line ...
dimview—A wonderful writer and a warm and kind person who is a heck of a lot of fun to correspond with. Writer of interesting factuals about sumo, book reviews and daylogs
Palpz—This Canadian's work is amazing in scope: actors, engineering, Calgary, and great Canadians ... and so much more. He is able to make fact read like really exciting fiction, and that's about as high a compliment as I can pay!
LeoDV—This man has written a few really superb nodes on a variety of subjects. His whore and torture articles are intriguing and trust a Frenchman to write a really comprehensive treatment on the subject of sauce.
Maylith—She writes well on a variety of subjects: recipes, daylogs and more. Candles should be burned, not dusted is one of my all-time favourite nodes!
Kanoodle—One of the bright new stars in the E2 Galaxy. Writes from the heart , as well as some very good entertainment history and some nodes that are just plain entertaining!
Carbonif—Has noded extensively about literary awards and the like, and also does delightful biographical pieces. One of our rising stars!
Unperson—A skilled writer who can make even complex topics approachable and do so with some humour and style. Has also written some interesting social and useful articles as well!

In some cases, I've not finished reading the person's work . . . . . (and many more to come)

And...for no other reason (other than emulating my hero, here are my writeups, categorised:
(UNDER CONSTRUCTION)