Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I wanted to save your delicate sensibilities, but in case you were wondering, there was quite a lot of stepping in unicorn crap as well. Monstrous rainbow turds EVERYWHERE."

• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• In case you were wondering about cramps
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• I know there are other fish in the sea but I don't want them
• there are no rules, but there is a lot to learn
• Well, I was tired of being 24 anyway, so there
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• This is just an ordinary well. You think there is more to it, but it is just an ordinary well
• Santa's festive fear mongering wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, but the other Santa and I were enjoying the gingerbread.
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• I want silence, but wait for the phone to ring
• There is no dream but this.
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• Men may cry "Peace! Peace!" but there is no peace
• It turns out there are lots of badasses out there flipping coins.
• The delicate women do not want to dance
• There is no god but God
• /but what was the question?
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• It wasn't the prince that saved the damsel, but a pirate with a secret.
• I want to watch pornography, but my pornograph is broken
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• But I don't want to pay for the obese smoking couch potato
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• the horrible gift was really quite right
• if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
• but are there horses?
• You've Always Had a Hidden Agenda, but people were busy with other things
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Think of something you always wanted to do, but are afraid of. Do it today.
• I want my trail to grow over and disappear, but now someone is reading it.
• I wanted to show you something, but the verb sucked
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• No Snakes, but We’ve Got a Lot of Folks Looking
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• i wish i felt like teaching today, but i just want to be selfish
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• There are no cases like mine, Doctor.
• There's a lot wrong with the world at the moment
• Lots of MIPS but no I/O
• there's nothing quite as wonderful to me as the assorted scars of a woman who's too busy reading to watch where she's walking
• The monkey children were everywhere back then. Their fedoras littered the roads.
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• Yet is there hope, then Love but play thy part
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• Welcome to Canada; we're closed for the playoffs
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• Not too sentimental, but I want you to know
• They were looking for God but found religion instead
• Little depth but lots of skin and penis
• Love cookies
• We're one, but we're not the same
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• There is infinite hope, but not for us
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• Help wanted. No previous experience necessary. Martyrdom not required but highly suggested.
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• in this world there are no equals but some day you will surpass me
• I never wanted to burn any bridges. But I did want to light some fires.
• But we're leaving St. Francis in the trunk of the car
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• Why is there always money for war, but not for education?
• Bye Don, you were nothing but a waste of time
• I love you, I want you, but you are a cruel monster
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• Maybe you were inherently complicated, maybe you've been complicated over the years, but know that you are complicated.
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess
• well in that case (user)
• The Blood Was Everywhere
• A delicate and lovely monster was hiding behind the fronds
• I worked at summer camp, and all I got was this lousy case of gangrene
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• Be the monstrous wave of despair and destruction you want to see in the world
• man, there sure are a lot of stories
• there is hope everywhere
• You'll never quite know how much you've lost until you get what you were looking for
• Ever made it with an aardvark? We're quite rare.
• You're there. Everywhere.
• ships are safest in harbor, but they were made to sail
• I'm not sick but I'm not well
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• but mr can you maybe listen there's
• That's a valid point, but right now we're focusing on...
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• The light is red, but there is a green arrow
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Due to the Incompetence of our novice author, our heroine, cahla, finds herself in the wilds of Djibouti; there is no denouement in sight, but the moonlight is pretty.
• There but for the grace of God go I
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• There is poetry in my soul, but I keep it on a short leash
• Think there's too much violence in society today? Maybe, but consider this:
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• So many were frozen, but you we kept warm
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• What to do if you earn a lot but hate your job
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• "But offstage things were falling apart..." is a registered trademark of VH1 Behind the Music
• But there are NUNS watching us!
• I don't want to wear your skin, but I will if I catch you!
• I tried to laugh but my photocells were cold from the night
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
• There are women and tender children where those shells fall, but war is war.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• There's someone in my head but it's not me
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• Some things are definite. We will all die, but there is rain.
• but the fruitsellers are there every day
• We're not running out of electrons any time soon, but dreams are in short supply.
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• We might not like each other very much afterwards, but at least we'll understand each other.
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• there are many voids but this one is mine
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• as you get older, a lot falls away. but i am not here to tell you not to worry. i am here to give you tools.
• With you there is nothing involved but everything
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm

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