I am the very model of a modern teenage
Cyberpunk
I rent my own apartment and it's full of electronic junk
I own a
VAX, a 486, I've even got a
PDP
I've finished
Myst and
Doom but I am stumped by
Wing Commander III
I'm very well aquainted too with matters
pornographical
I have a list of image sites, both overseas and national
So if you want to see a picture of that
Anna Nicole Smith
I'll fire up my terminal and fetch for you a naughty
GIF
I'm totally an
anarchist, the government I'd like to wreck,
Though if they were to get blown up, who'd give to me my
welfare cheque?
In short if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk
I know the ancient myths about
RTM,
Pengo and
Mitnick
I '
hack' into computers and I then perform a
credit check
I scare all my
non-hacker friends with tales of cracker theivery
and even though I'm spouting crap they'll listen and believe in me
I've learned to spot a
troll and I've seen flames about the way I spell,
I've traced badly forged cancels and seen
napalm poured on
AOL
I've laughed at all the
newbies and their flailing cries of "You all Suck!"
I've been flamed by Carasso, with an anvil I have then been struck
I've hung around in
alt.tasteless and seen war waged on
rec.pets.cats
I've spent my time in talk.bizarre and used those stupid Relay Chats
In short, if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk
Well postings like "MAKE.MONEY.FAST", I am now somewhat wary at,
I have been "Global Killfiled" by the Joel Furr Commissariat,
When
rosebud posts a lengthy rant 'bout
Microsoft she swears is true,
I know that she is just another short lived kook without a clue
When I have learnt what progress has been made upon the
Internet,
When I know something more than just a smattering of
netiquette,
In short when I can have a
world-wide soapbox on which I can stand
I've got no time for other things, like
beer and trips to
Disneyland
My life outside
the Internet is very very sad you see
I cannot get my spots to fade, my
social life's a tragedy,
But still if you need answers that concern your electronic junk,
I am the very model of a modern teenage Cyberpunk.
Author Unknown, found in my home directory
dated April 23, 1997