A kind of generic epic fantasy
filk here, to the tune of
I'll Never Fall In Love Again, by
Bobbie Gentry.
SCENE:
At the bar sits a
grizzled and much scarred
veteran. When he sees a
distinguished, grey-cloaked figure with a white flowing beard enter the
tavern, he slides under the table, hiding until the
mystic has gone, with a group of companions in tow. Interested by his
behaviour, you ask him "Do you have a problem with wizards,
warrior?" He looks you in the eye, and begins to sing....
What do you get when a
wizard calls?
You get enough shit to drive you
barmy
There's monsters and wraiths and goblin armies
I'll never trust a
mage again.
I'll never trust a mage again.
What do you get when he looks your way?
You just get a
quest you're good and stuck with
Fighting some
foe no man should fuck with
I'll never trust a mage again
I'll never trust a mage again.
Don't talk to me 'bout
fellowship
There's always one
traitor who'll lose his grip
Out of those woods, he'll sneak up behind you
That's why I'm here to remind you
Run for the hills when a wizard calls
He'll only expect you to be
heroic
Facing your fear with courage
stoic
I'll never trust a mage again
I'll never trust a mage again.
Don't tell me about
dark and
light
Those white-clad bastards always
swear they're right
With
prophecy, they'll cheat and blind you
That's why I'm here to remind you
Say you're not in when a wizard calls
Unless you've a
yen for
death and
danger
And if you do - well,
goodbye stranger,
I'LL never trust a mage again
No, I'll never trust a mage again.
<exits, muttering "Well, don't say I didn't
warn you...">