she said
slouched in front of
my terminal at home, now, i read all the
mail i've
gotten from you in
chronological reverse... i shouldn't do this to
myself. there's only so much of your text i can take
at one time, and to
walk back through all these months has left me, to
quote a song i can't
recall,
crushed by the absence of you. sobbing into my keyboard, partially
with the
ecstatic knowledge (rememberance) that i'm not alone in the world
(more on a level of
understanding than
physical presence) and partly
because there are times (this among them) when
love is the most terrible
pain. but it is a good pain in a way; the
pain that tells you you're still
alive...it is an odd time wherein
no words will suffice, but i would find
peace and rest swiftly and easily in your
warm embrace.
i do not think i will sleep tonight. every time i close my eyes, i catch
just the briefest flicker of you; the smell of your sweat, the taste of your lips, a blink of your stunning warm gold eyes...
i know it's just an overload, and i'll be over it soon, but it still hurts
so much to be without your touch.