The review of American Pie Presents: Something is Alive in Her Bosom 2 by BookReader is typical of the way intellectuals and readers of books look down on entertaining films that show moviegoers what they really want to see, which is nudity and gunplay. There is no gunplay in this film, unless you count the scene where the three boys are messing about with one of their father's guns. In that scene the boys are talking about trying to shoot the "something" that is alive in the female lead's bosom, played by newcomer Sandy Brickhouse. They fumble about with the gun, being typically inept boys who tremble at the sight of a beautiful woman such as Sandy Brickhouse or myself. Then end up dropping the gun. It goes off and shoots the inflatable woman they were passing around in the previous scene. Hilarious.

I thought it was brilliant casting when Cheryl Ladd took on the role of the mother in the original, Something is Alive in Her Bosom although it was not clear what her actual role was in the goings on. She would walk around with those tight hot pants on, shaking her curvy butt in front of the horny teenagers who came to see her first daughter, Athena, played with a frightening realism by Collette McGovern in the original film. As fans of the series know, Athena was sent off to an exclusive boarding school at the end of the first film. Now younger sister Electra is picking up where her big sister left off, walking around with an impressive rack that something is alive inside of. I've had men plant their heads in between my breasts and moan and cry and say weird stuff, but I've never really had "something alive" in between my knockers.

When a movie is scary and hilarious at the same time, you know you have a winner. This movie is both.

The rest of this writeup may contain SPOILERS!

Cheryl Ladd's character, who is named Jaclyn Smith for hilarious reasons, only had one daughter in the first film. We soon find out that after sending Athena Smith to the boarding school at the end of the first film, she adopted an orphaned teenaged girl with huge boobs. There is even a hilarious flashback scene in the second half of the film where we see Cheryl Ladd in the orphanage asking girls to lift their shirts so she can see if they have "What it takes to be my daughter." Creepy. Also, hilarious.

While it is true that Dr. Titts performs breast enhancement surgery on Electra Smith, it is not to make her cannons bigger. It is to make them rounder, as in perfectly round. They become like golden globes demanding attention, and in the collection of half-shirts and halter tops Electra wears, they look tremendous. When I went to see this movie in the theatre with two of my boyfriends, they each got off twice during the film and many of the boys in the audience were frequently seen masturbating furiously. Now that is a sign of a very entertaining film. Unless, of course, you are a snooty, uptight bookworm who likes to act all intellectually and morally superior in front of others. Such people have boobie magazines under their mattress anyway and can be easily seduced by a beautiful woman with brains and razor sharp wit. And then left for dead. Which is how it should be with snobby pricks.

And this plays into the plot of the film. Cheryl Ladd's "Mother" was established to have been raped by seventeen boys wearing rubber cow masks down by the lake when she was a teenager. Since then she is determined to take revenge on all teenage boys, since the masked rapists were never found or identified. Some say they were merely, "The spirit of Katie Elder." I have no idea what that means.

She started with her biological daughter and now continues her efforts with her adopted daughter, and by walking around constantly in the tightest, shortest hot pants you've ever seen in your life. She basically redefines the term MILF in these hilarious films.

She lures the boys into her house either through the use of her own ass or her daughter's heaving breasts. Once the boys are in the house and alone with the daughter, aroused and helpless, we discover what it means when the writers tell us, "Something is alive in her bosom..."

That is an understatement.

And we have no real reason to pity these teenaged boys. Pity is a sign of caring, and we do not care. We're talking about boys who urinate out of second story windows for amusement purposes. We're talking about boys who can't even figure out how to hold a gun. We're talking about boys with really small penises, so small that no woman would even notice if he was having sex with her. You can't pity someone like that.

You have to go after them with something alive in your bosom.

And that is the moral of this film. Hilarious.