I want to speak a million words to you but can't manage one. I want to shake you and scream. I want to hold you and kiss you. I'm just so damn confused. I thought I knew myself, thought I had managed some measure of sanity. But now your gone and I'm... different. Don't know myself. My outward appearance is reflecting my inside-- like some kind of freak-- perhaps you wouldn't even recognize me now. You were so open, and for me it takes time. Too late, but now all my physical and psychological scars are out in the open. None of those scars are from me, I dealt with self-injury long ago. Never the less, that is a cigarette burn. That is where I took a steel slash to the arm. That scar was from blunt trauma to the head. That girl hurt me, but this girl also hurt me-- and destroyed any moral compass I had left. Hair is gone, morals are gone. You don't even know what you've done. To be fair it wasn't just you. The friends, the criminals, the slut, my brother, the murderer, the wayward children... the one who took his own life. I miss you. I miss all of you. Damn them all baby. Crazy girl I miss you most of all.