She wakes. She yawns. She breathes in the new day. She opens her eyes, to find there has been no miraculous change overnight. And oh how she needs a change. Her existence depends on it.

So she cuts her hair, and dyes it red, or black, or any colour that isn't completely hers. In the glimmering hope that she will morph into something shiny and new.

She paints her face, and adorns new clothes. In an ever diminishing belief that she can become something different... Something better. Better at least, than this pale shell of a girl she's been fighting for what seems an eternity.

So she puts on her mask, slips into costume, and becomes fictional. A character in the stage-play her life has become. She fades from reality - her existence frail, and weak. In a desperate plea with the universe.

She lives, her arms outstretched. Searching, reaching. A quest to like - even love - herself, and her life which seems to pass every day into another of loneliness, nothingness, worthlessness. A life filled with pointless going ons. A life in which it takes such effort to breathe the air which fuels existence.

In her quest to find reason. In the chance that she will be able to fly once more into the wild blue of reality without fear, pain and regret. She remains hopeful.

She wakes. She yawns. She breathes in the new day. She opens her eyes. And perhaps... Perhaps one of these days. Things will change.


A nodeshell rescued from its empty existence, and made grammatically correct by bexxta. My first ever nodeshell rescue. Yay!!

today Sunday morning, calm
light through the fabric brings
its colors to your face
I make you breakfast, orange
juice, rejuvenating last night full
of memory, it's a funny story I
can't write here. Liked when your hair
clumps bedhead on your face and you
think it's messy, but haha, what
messy is yours is to the messy same
in my mind, messy like familiar
sounds and ideas you forgot but
brought with you when you came, I
like how the sun looks when
it bounces off your face. I wrote
you a poem like I promised but
sorry if it's insane


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