Everything2 Cool Archive

tiramisu (thing)

2003-01-13T18:09:30Z

Tiramisu is a heavenly little Italian thing that combines three of my favorite things on this earth: cheese, coffee, and liqueur, and turns them into one k-rad dessert. Created, not in 1982 as the above writeup suggests, but sometime in the 17th century, the desert has its origins in the Italian provence of Tuscany, in Siena. It was first made for a visit from the Grand Duke Cosimo de'Medici III, and thus called zuppa del duca, or the duke's soup. The Duke, while allowing the government of Tuscany to degenerate "into bigoted and corrupt despotism", did something right by bringing the desert back to Florence with him. The duke's soup enjoyed great popularity with English intellectuals in the 19th century and thus became known as zuppa Inglese. They followed the Grand Duke's lead and brought the tradition back to the mother country, where the English grew to love it. Today, one can find tiramisu in fine Italian restaurants everywhere, or make it yourself if...

Everything2 Civil War (idea)

2000-04-06T02:44:46Z

A single, sweet tear slid from my closed left eye ...

DMan dropped like a sack of rotten potatoes. It was too easy, really ... these kids with their auto-noder and web-crawlers. Poor bastards. Half of them haven't even seen over the bleak horizon of sixth level. The attention to my next task is momentarily diverted as I watch jessicapierce slit pukesick's home node, ear to ear.

Most of them never even knew what hit 'em. The next time CaptainSpam tries to log in he'll be auto-forwarded to a Fed address and will find the I.R.S. has suddenly decided to audit his past five tax returns. Sarcasmo's password
is "I'M A DICK" and it is case sensitive. Furthermore he has to really feel that way or E2 won't let him use the chatterbox.

I send fez into the sql server to take a look at the numbers. A low, steady...

buttermilk (thing)

2003-09-22T20:18:17Z

Buttermilk is a rich, thick, and sour dairy product made from milk. Buttermilk tastes somewhat like plain yogurt and its thickness lies somewhere in between milk and heavy cream. The name "buttermilk" is actually deceiving, as there is no butter in modern buttermilk. Several decades ago buttermilk was made when heavy cream was churned into butter. Over the course of churning the fats solidified into butter and a liquid remained that was called buttermilk. The buttermilk was slightly sour due to the presence of airborne bacteria. Today, buttermilk is made by combining regular milk with several kinds of bacteria. This mixture is left at room temperature for about half a day to allow the bacteria to create the buttermilk. One gallon of milk makes about a half-pint of buttermilk.

How do the bacteria create buttermilk from milk? Producers use certain kinds of bacteria named Streptococcus lactis and Leuconostoc citrovorum...

Sabicas (person)

2002-11-20T21:05:17Z

Anybody who's ever picked up a guitar more than once or twice can appreciate tremendously that formidable construct of wood and steel that has been called "the little orchestra" by no less an authority than the master guitarist, Andres Segovia.
And anyone who's stayed with the instrument of gypsies and rockers, troubadours and courtiers, beyond the proverbial three chords—through bouts of sore, bleeding, or blistered fingertips (John Lennon counted himself among the latter); endured seemingly endless plateaus of frustrating arpeggios and inversions; and emerged (like myself) eventually with something like a religious respect for people who can really play—well, anybody who really gets the guitar deserves to sit down in front of the collected works of the flamenco Grand Master, Sabicas.
He taught himself.
Agustín Castellón...

Blue Canoe (review)

2008-08-27T22:59:22Z

If you meet a strange, confident woman, she may well be a witch. Truer words were probably never spoken but how do you know for sure?

This is a question that has puzzled people for centuries. Witch Bottles have been unearthed in England. The Salem Witch Trials are a legendary piece of U.S. history but the question persists. Is she really a witch?

Whatever the reason you suspect that someone is a night time broom rider you need a method to determine whether or not she is in fact a witch.

With the advent of Blue Canoe, founded in 1991 by CEO Laurie Dunlap,...

Some of the pitfalls inherent in removing one's pubic hair (idea)

2000-12-24T07:52:31Z

So you've decided to become a silky-smooth, bald pubed person.

"I'll just read the E2 writeups on 'shaving the boys' and 'shaving the whatevers' and I'll have no problems" Right?

Wrong.

Denuding one's self of hair can lead to <dramatic music> ingrown hair.</dramatic music>

It's like this.

You buy the best, sharpest Mach 3 razor you can find, and you get into a nice hot bath, and you use the non-scented shaving cream and cut in the direction of hair growth, taking particular care not to nick yourself.

You get out, and smile at the wonderful smooth job you've done.

Perhaps you think about your partner's response to ...discovering your new nakedness for him- or her- self.

You use some sort of aftershave, and pat, not rub, dry.

And all is well with the world.

For about 12 hours.

Then, the itching begins.

At...

Sphinx (thing)

2001-06-22T03:27:12Z
About that nose...
Among many of the mysterious aspects of the Great Sphinx (to specify, since there are a number of sphinxes throughout Egypt) is its conspicuously missing nose. One might wonder if its popularity would be what it is today if not for its interesting and obvious "deformity."
And, of course, EVERYONE knows how it happened, right?
They certainly think they do.

Everybody knows Napoleon's men shot it off by cannon back in 1798. They were bored and it was something fun and destructive to do.

No, it was the British who shot it off. You know: in WWI. Or was it WWII? Perhaps in the 19th century? (Presumably for similar reasons.)

Maybe it was the Germans during WWII. Sounds like something the Nazis might do, right?

Maybe it was the Mamluks who shot it off.

It could've happened even further back. Perhaps the Arab...

Wet T-shirts and hot summers: a fifteen year old's definition of love (thing)

2002-08-26T22:09:49Z

Paula was used and abused. And boy-oh-boy, when the rumours flew, they flew. She was with Dan, and Goo, and Scottie, and Jason, and the other Jason and...really: need I go on? Her boys were like a steady stream of teen maleness, with their skateboards and their brash, overdone haircuts and giant's pants.

She was a slut, I can't be any gentler than that. Pure and simple, matter of fact, she's probably either dead, or a bad mom with tons of kids milling about her unemployed ass like moths to a Bug Zapper. But she was fine, in a she-gets-around kind of way. She had this round ghetto-booty, big perky tits and lips that could, without effort, suck the borders right off a road map. Tiny little waist too, one that you could palm and easily prop her up on a deep freeze, or a kitchen table, or the bathroom sink ... ...

leaving out parts of the truth. you have to. (idea)

2000-08-29T04:24:54Z

When he was little enough to loll in my arms and cross his eyes trying to focus on my face, I said out loud to Shaymus that I would not lie to him. The warranty on that lasted for a couple of years; then things started to fall apart, as things do. Anyone would tell the lies I am telling. Still I don't like what comes out of my mouth.
Shaymus is watching tv when the phone rings and I grab it quick. He is not usually entranced by tv but whatever this is, it has him mesmerized; good. I take the phone as far as the cord will go. Drew tells me the bottom line first, he knows what I want to hear and, thank God, he says it. She's here. She's fine. My shoulders undo the painful thing I didn't know they'd been doing. The baby's all right, Anna is all right.
After the initial "ok" are the more gruesome bits. Drew starts telling me the details. I don't ask him to stop even though everything is awful and gets worse. He is exahusted, he has no sense of what...

Skee-Ball (thing)

2003-02-11T01:56:21Z

Most arcade games leave you with an empty feeling--you drop in a few quarters, hammer mindlessly at a button for a while, then wander away with empty pockets and glazed eyes. But Skee-Ball's different: Not only does it require a certain amount of skill, but in many cases it actually pays you something when you win. Sure, most of it's cheap plastic crap, but you can occasionally get something fun, like a little water gun, a yo-yo, or one of those ultra-bouncy rubber balls.

To the average cocky teenage guy, it seems like an easy game, because it only involves flinging some balls at some holes--it's just like baseball or basketball or something, and every guy should be good at that, right? It's easy to think that you're doing well, too, because the "Winner" light starts flashing at about 150 points or so.

Unfortunately, that sort of hubris has felled three generations of males in my family, because Skee-Ball isn't as...

chopped liver (recipe)

2007-11-26T04:37:47Z

Pâte de foie de poulet avec Cognac

(Pureed Chicken Livers with Cognac)

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It's a fancy name for chopped chicken liver. This recipe aims to move steadfast slaves to convention into the ranks of the open minded. This recipe begins with the simplicity of a humble holiday hors d'oeuvre, and becomes an avant-garde creation the limitations of which are equivalent only to those of the chef's imagination.

The goal is to get people to eat chopped liver (in this case a creation more like a pâte than a traditional mincemeat; it's smoother and slightly more elegant). The problem is that my humble, anecdotal experience is that there's no gray area between those who love chopped liver and those who despise it. This can be a Good Thing in the event that you enjoy this dish as much as do I but don't want to go through the trouble of fussing over it. And fuss over it you will. The chopped-liver-haters will leave plenty for you to...

John McCain is a dick (fiction)

2008-08-30T01:10:37Z

"Welcome aboard Straight Talk One," he said. "This sled is gonna deliver us right into the Oval Office, so help me God. That little Ivy League motherfucker is toast."
He was reclined in his first class seat as we left the runway, eyes half closed, eating walnuts with one hand and drinking Natural Light with the other. Both right out of their respective cans.
"For a greenhorn he certainly has charisma," I said. "He can gather a hundred thousand people in a heartbeat while you're struggling for ten."
The old man laughed. "You want charisma?" He set down the walnut can, belched under his breath and leaned forward. "Let me tell you a story. From Viet Nam."
Oh shit, I thought, here we go again.
"They had me tied against the wall for a week straight. I suppose that would make most people uncomfortable, but I was just getting angry. So when the guards came to haul me down one day, I was biting my tongue. They started untying the ropes. I could feel...

Ever thus to deadbeats (idea)

2008-08-29T18:25:46Z

--- And-a --- Talk to me will you?

She will not answer whatever you say, she’s stubborn like that. Sometimes she’s derisive when you try to talk to her. “How’s it going?” you’ll say, or “Good day today?” or just a “Hi there!” and you could swear she sighs and that her catheter-bag pings a little, flickering a dismissive wave. Someone should change that bag, actually. I would but I’m busy. Very busy. Let's have a quick listen though, for form's sake. Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Good beats.

<...

Parsley essence (thing)

2002-01-07T20:58:19Z

Many cooks seem to use parsley as an accompanying flavour, perhaps scattered over a finished dish. It is a shame really, as parsley has a deliciously forthright herbaceous flavour with many subtle nuances. This essence captures those flavours and intensifies them. If you think you know the flavour of parsley, make this and think again.
I came up with this essence a few years back when I was cooking at a fairly reliable little inner-city bistro. It was diluted with chicken stock to form the sauce for a wild mushroom ravioli. I have since discovered that parsley essence has a multitude of uses in the kitchen. This New Years Eve past we made amuse gueule of tiny goats cheese soufflés. Once removed from the oven they were injected underside, via a squeeze bottle with this essence. What a treat; once cut open, the tiny soufflés exuded a vibrant green parsley sauce that lifted the dish towards nirvana.
Part of its appeal is the...

Saturday morning cartoon (personal)

2008-03-22T06:07:45Z

Many of us have fond memories of waking-up early on Saturdays to catch our favorite cartoons. Scooby-Doo, Transformers, and The Bugs Bunny Show are shows that evoke fond memories for millions of kids who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. The very term “Saturday morning cartoons” has become an icon of American culture—of millions of bleary-eyed parents being woken up by the sound of explosions and cartoon antics from pajama wearing, cereal eating kids.

The phenomenon of Saturday morning cartoons was—unsurprisingly—sustained by the enormous market it presented to advertisers. Always in search of better ways to hawk more junk at the public, marketers looked to the burgeoning medium of television as a new way to reach people. Saturday morning cartoons provided an enormously profitable and specialized market—kids. Our love affair with our favorite shows also provided a means for companies to sell...

August 27, 2008 (personal)

2008-08-28T00:03:25Z

I checked my Inbox to find a handful of messages from gods (they still called that?) politely notifying me that some of my old Editor Log entries had been moved to nodes that consolidated all of the writeups for that month.

I took the opportunity to read a couple from 2000 and 2001. I was a little shocked at the young Quizro's boldness and impatience. Back then I was willing to announce publicly that individual contributors to E2 were being stupid and writing shit. I remember that I was actually pretty tolerant as an Editor, but when something pushed my buttons I guess it really pushed my buttons.

Maybe it's because I was young. Maybe it's because I took my bad days out on the nodegel. Maybe it's because I was passionate about this site and hated to see people inflict crap on it. Maybe it's because I was a new Christian and in love with my newfound faith and had to set everyone straight about it.

Now I'm 41, and the road...

Sarah Palin (person)

2008-08-30T02:37:47Z

Is Sarah Palin a creationist?

The blog Wired Science is reporting that &ldquoMcCain’s VP Wants Creationism Taught in School.” As far as I can tell, though, Sarah Palin has only made a few vague statements about creationism. She’s certainly sympathetic, but not in any way that makes her stand out among American social conservatives.

The Wired Science post is based upon an Anchorage Daily News, article, “‘Creation science’ enters the race,” reporting on a debate between Palin and two other candidates for governor of Alaska in 2006.

Palin was answering a question from the moderator near the conclusion of Wednesday night’s televised debate on KAKM Channel 7 when she said, “Teach both. You know, don’t be afraid of information. Healthy...

Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear (fiction)

2007-08-01T04:15:44Z
I stay in New York to bargain for power.
My gran'mere taught me to negotiate for smalls and ways in the unlit parts of the city; she taught me that there were things that lived in New York, that were New York, who could be treated with and flattered or threatened or spoken to over a cup of chocolate or a mug of beer.
I was seven when she knew.
"Police car! Police car!"
"Hush, Michael. No police, see? No police."
"But they're driving! I hear them!" It was true; the siren was laying two-toned brushstrokes of warning down an avenue unseen one block over. Gran'mere looked sharply down at me, my little smooth hand in her small wrinkled one there on Eleventh street on the way to the market.
"You hear them driving, Michel?" When she had something important to tell me, my name changed. The Old World intonation shifted it from something cheap and coarse, borrowed unimaginatively from a shoddy cardboard bible,...

Silver Streak (review)

2007-08-30T23:49:07Z

There are certain movies that make for perfect fare on certain occasions. One of the occasions that provides for an excellent movie viewing atmosphere is on those Sunday afternoons when you find yourself hung over with someone sprawled across your bed, floor or couch that you may or may not have had sexual relations with. When this happens, you need a movie to watch, and Silver Streak is a good choice under these circumstances.

It starts with a ride on a train. People often choose to travel by train for the peace, tranquility and the familiar clackety-clack sound made by choo choo trains when they travel down tracks. Sometimes, as in Alfred Hitchcock movies, and so forth, that peace and quiet is disturbed by murder.

"We'll make it past the cops. I just hope we don't see no Muslims."

This film was directed by Arthur Hiller, who directed some other films over the years, written by Colin Higgins, who knows how to use a typewriter, and...

flashcube (thing)

2007-08-30T04:33:18Z
A flashcube is a small device used with cheap pocket cameras, first introduced in the 1960s, to serve as a disposable illumination source. Rather than using expensive reusable flash lamps, 'pocket' cameras up until that point used flashbulbs - small disposable glass bulbs which contained a quantity of a pyrotechnic substance. When the shutter was tripped, the camera would ignite the substance in the bulb, producing a flash of bright light which would provide illumination for the shot. Although of uneven quality and only useful for one shot, flashbulbs nevertheless brought the ability to shoot in low light to the hobbyist photographer, just as low-cost cameras had brought photography itself within range of the budget enthusiast.
The main problem with flashbulbs, however, was that they needed to be replaced after each shot. In addition, they were always hot after discharge, and if they were handled too soon, they could crumble - resulting in bits of plastic and/or glass (depending on...

John McCain is a dick (person)

2008-08-29T17:37:29Z

John McCain may be a dick. He may be an entire bag of dicks. He may even be a giant, dick-shaped bag full of dicks. But it's not because of his choice for Vice President.

What are the major problems that McCain has with his campaign? Some people think that he's too old (he turns 72 today). The conservative base of the Republican party was upset that he won the nomination, and continued to seek assurances that he wouldn't abandon them. And despite fashioning himself as a 'maverick', Democrats continue to paint him as a Washington insider and a continuation of the failed policies of George W. Bush.

Sarah Palin shores up all of these weaknesses. She's young, she's a Washington outsider, and she's a hardline conservative. Her gender certainly wasn't something that they ignored when they vetted her as a candidate, but it's a lot deeper than that. She's no Geraldine Ferraro.

And before anyone dismisses this as electioneering on the part of the GOP, take...

John McCain is a dick (fiction)

2008-08-30T01:10:37Z

"Welcome aboard Straight Talk One," he said. "This sled is gonna deliver us right into the Oval Office, so help me God. That little Ivy League motherfucker is toast."
He was reclined in his first class seat as we left the runway, eyes half closed, eating walnuts with one hand and drinking Natural Light with the other. Both right out of their respective cans.
"For a greenhorn he certainly has charisma," I said. "He can gather a hundred thousand people in a heartbeat while you're struggling for ten."
The old man laughed. "You want charisma?" He set down the walnut can, belched under his breath and leaned forward. "Let me tell you a story. From Viet Nam."
Oh shit, I thought, here we go again.
"They had me tied against the wall for a week straight. I suppose that would make most people uncomfortable, but I was just getting angry. So when the guards came to haul me down one day, I was biting my tongue. They started untying the ropes. I could feel...

Berwick-upon-Tweed (place)

2007-08-30T18:48:05Z

The glories of Berwick are celebrated in a little verse which runs;

Berwick is an ancient town
A church without a steeple
A pretty girl at every door
And very generous people

although there us another version attributed to Robert Burns which is slightly less complimentary;

A bridge without a middle arch
A church without a steeple
A midden heep in every street
And damned conceited people

The town of Berwick-upon-Tweed, or Berwick-on-Tweed as it sometimes called, stands at the mouth of the river Tweed some sixty-seven miles north of Newcastle and is the most northerly town in England. The Berwick is pronounced 'Berrick' and is dervived from the Old English 'bere' for barley and 'wic' meaning farm or settlement; the 'upon-Tweed' is simply to distinguish it from the other Berwick, now known as North Berwick, which lies further north close to the Firth of Forth.
...

chainsaw (thing)

2003-01-08T23:06:27Z

Ok, what exactly is a chainsaw?

It's a saw on a chain.

...

Ok, there's this chain, right? It's got cutting teeth on it. The chain runs around a bar with a groove in it. Because it would be a very bad thing if the chain came off.

It's powered by a two-stroke gasoline engine. The clutch works on a centrifuge. When it's at low speeds, it spins by itself, but speed it up and it spreads outwards and engages a gear running the chain, creating wood chomping power!
Kinda like this if it had teeth.
.__ (| o\________ |rs_}_______}
Or this if it had a handle.
.-----. /::::::|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. |():::::| . . . . . . . . .} \::::::| .' '-----'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Anyhow, the engine is usually around 3 horsepower, and runs off an oil/...

John McCain is a dick (person)

2008-08-29T17:37:29Z

John McCain may be a dick. He may be an entire bag of dicks. He may even be a giant, dick-shaped bag full of dicks. But it's not because of his choice for Vice President.

What are the major problems that McCain has with his campaign? Some people think that he's too old (he turns 72 today). The conservative base of the Republican party was upset that he won the nomination, and continued to seek assurances that he wouldn't abandon them. And despite fashioning himself as a 'maverick', Democrats continue to paint him as a Washington insider and a continuation of the failed policies of George W. Bush.

Sarah Palin shores up all of these weaknesses. She's young, she's a Washington outsider, and she's a hardline conservative. Her gender certainly wasn't something that they ignored when they vetted her as a candidate, but it's a lot deeper than that. She's no Geraldine Ferraro.

And before anyone dismisses this as electioneering on the part of the GOP, take...